just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
