Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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