I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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