I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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