He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
