your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
bring money and cleavage
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
