nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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