so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
