Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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