Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
