If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
