break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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