He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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