Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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