chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
