Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
