Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize