ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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