lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
