so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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