dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
