I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
