i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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