Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
