getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
