he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
