I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I can tuck mytits in my pants
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
