Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize