I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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