Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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