He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
