I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
