I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
