omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
