and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize