I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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