Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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