What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
