i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I am one with the molecules
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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