you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Less talking, more tequila
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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