He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
