uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
How does one acquire holy water?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
