I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
