I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize