Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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