I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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