Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
