So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
