Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
