Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize