So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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