so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
