Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
