marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
