and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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