fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
