Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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