I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
