So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
