Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
