but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
