I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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