Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
