We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
